October 6, 2011

Onward christian soldiers part 8



It was hot, it was hard, and it was drudgery. We were all frustrated, and some were a little angry.
Again, one by one, we had to lower each cart down into the ravine. And again, now, a few at a time we had to half lift, and half pull the carts up the other side.
I had never pushed myself so hard to do something before.  And had never pushed that cart so hard either, until then. Before, it was mostly the boys that got the carts through the ravine,
( plus me and a few other girls where we could,)
  But now they needed all the help they could get.
Several carts, as many as could fit through the available space, would be going down and up at once, three or four people in the front and as many as could fit in the back of the cart, as well as  two teams of Ma's and Pa's at both sides of the ravine, lowering or lifting the carts with rope. Most, including me, rolled their sleeves and pitched their hands on the carts in the ravine, and left the job of moving the carts away after they had successfully gotten over to the few that were on the top.

That must have been an easy job. But more help was needed here, in the ravine. We worked like ants.
Every one moved as fast as they could, some carts slipped, and had to start back up, but thankfully none tipped over, to my knowledge and what I witnessed. Though there may have  been more kids then our brother Helaman, (who was still at Base because of his sprained ankle) that may have been run over at one point.
Somewhere in the middle, when half the carts were all back up on the other side, I came to another cart and latched on, though there wasn't any space. Some boys told me they had this one good, so I let go, and was starting to where the carts were being lowered down into the ravine, where there was plenty of space for the second.

The dust was thick, and it was hard to see past the commotion, but I recognized my family's cart as it passed me. No one I knew occupied the work of hauling it up, but for some reason, no one at all was in back, for I could see that without back support our cart would slip.
I dove in.
Did I say that I had never pushed that hard in my life? I'll say it. I never pushed so hard as I did right there, in my life. We were half way up, and I was surprised to find that no one had come to join me at the back.
I was the only one. And I was slipping!!!!

The sand gave way beneath the cart's wheels too, and I knew if no one came to the rescue, or unless I could in some impossible way push harder, the cart was going to fall back and run me over! The cart was going backwards.
It didn't occur to me that I could get out the way, dunno why though.
And suddenly, there was a hard jolt, and it seemed as if half of the cart's weight disappeared. I looked down between my feet. Nothing had fallen out. The cart was now moving up, no longer slipping.
I looked to my right.  (heavenly music) An angel had come. (Hallelujah chorus!)
Dressed in white, He was pushing beside me,
with everything he had.   

I smiled gratefully at him, "Thanks Captain."
He didn't say anything, but smiled back.
It was teamwork. I will not forget that smile. Soon after, before we reached the top, some boys joined us in the back, and with out a word, Captain left. When we finally reached the top, there were not many carts left.

Somebody called out, "The angels are here,"
and I saw Captain, and my friend, and many other angels, including one that had been Joseph's sister. I had never noticed how many angels there were.
They all helped, and in a few minutes, the work was done.



The Angels left us to gather back into our families and carts. I didn't see them go, but once again, Captain was gone. But I wasn't sad. It was like, knowing for your own self that there is help, unseen help from beyond, and I had experienced for my self that prayers are heard, our needs are known. And when we are doing all we can do, they are met with unseen hands.

I found my family, and we took our cart, back the way we had come. At that old red gate we had passed through to reach our wrong-turn-ravine-consequence, there the angels were, once again, lined on either side of it, silent, sweaty and tired, like the rest of us, but all were smiling happily. I hope it was fun to be an angel.

Before, I had made a point not to smile or even look at The Angels. Each time I was afraid they'd come get me- or never return- but this time, I dropped my angry feelings for the  death angels. They weren't death angels who had abandoned me in need- they were my friends, and one of them was my brother, My angel brother, Captain. Father, Mother, Sisters, Brothers. Eternal Families.
I realized he hadn't left us at all. He never had. He was still with us.

 Captain is the angel in white in this picture, helping others.
 We reached camp.



2 comments:

  1. If, three months and much life after, this is the most important thing Tali wants to communicate, how thankful I am for this experience of your summer, dear! I'm glad you felt so much and grew so much inside. I love you! Write more, more frequently. Records last. Your growing talent lasts longer.

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -M.Williamson

    Your mama is one you liberate.

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  2. i love it and that quote- heather- is one of my favorites.

    ReplyDelete